Faster Sorting Algorithm Discovered by Speaking in Tongues
London, UK — In a groundbreaking development, researchers have discovered a faster sorting algorithm using the practice of Pentecostal tongue speaking. This algorithm, baptized “pentsort”, has the potential to revolutionize the field of computer science.
The researchers found that the rapid language used in Pentecostal tongue speaking closely resembles the computational patterns required for sorting.
“It is truly astonishing,” said Dr. Thompson. “It outperforms traditional methods like ‘quicksort’ and ‘satansort’ by a factor of ten.”
“Aargh blaarg cabbaa dabba,” said one of the participants, “Glug glug shabba shabba.”
“While it may seem unconventional, the results speak for themselves,” Dr. Thompson continued.
In light of this discovery, tech giants have started intensive training. Senior developers at Google, Facebook, and Amazon have enrolled in theology class.
However, critics argue that the method may lead to chaos. “If everything is sorted, what does it even mean to sort?”
Closing thoughts.
The discovery of the “pentsort” algorithm — already added to the C++ Standard Library — has bewildered computer scientists. While its practical applications are yet to be determined, one thing is certain: The divide between technology and religion is not as clear as once believed.
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